Monday, January 12, 2009

A Teaspoon of Sorbet




I can't take it anymore! Again and again I return to this page. "Create," the tab commands. I place my fingers on the keyboard, determined to craft a masterpiece, but no! My hands impulsively withdraw, as if aware of their limited capabilities. My eyes glaze and eventually cross at the consuming white blank. My mind races from nothing to nothing to nothing, with no stops between. Finally, defeated, I tap the red exit button at the top of my browser for the fourteenth time this week - and it's only Monday.

It has come down to this: pride.

Let me take you back to a simpler time. A time when blog post ideas swarmed in my mind like so many flies on a deer carcass. A carefree time of pictures and happy posts. A time that was approximately two weeks ago. How I long for it now:

I casually strolled outside sans coat and shoes (though my feet WERE cozy warm in my thoughtfully-given new Christmas slippers) to capture on film the building of the Shuman family snowman (because my role is to take pictures from afar). Now, if you know me, you know that I DO NOT touch the snow (believe me, if the sidewalks hadn't been clear I would have done the photo shoot from a window). Oh, it's fine to look at, and I have recently even been known to drive in it without complaint, but for the love of Frosty, don't ask me to touch the stuff*.

Apparently these last ten years have been for naught, because no sooner had I begun to snap photos, than Ty thought it would be fun to throw snowballs at me! Me! I tell you, sometimes I wonder if that man has even MET me!

As I was pummeled by flying snow boulders and helpless to defend myself (no shoes, no coat, one camera in hand, laughing too hard to yell), Ty just chuckled and said, "Aw, it'll give you something to blog about."

Enter instant resolve to never mention incident.

Try as I might to NOT post about it, I cannot come up with anything else to write (I hope you're happy, Dude). So, I am swallowing what smidgen of pride I have managed to scrape together, hoping it will cleanse my palate and allow my blogging thoughts to flow free once more.



And if they don't, I'm blaming the blunt force trauma sustained by those snowballs!





*unless you have REALLY waterproof, REALLY warm gear and a snowboard for me to borrow...and you're paying!

10 comments:

The Orton Family said...

I know say this on every comment I make on your blog, but I'm saying it anyway- You're hilarious! I always love your posts, no matter what random thing they're about.

Rozel said...

I do a lot of blogging in my pre-sleep. They are pure genius (if I do say so myself). Then I wake up and I can't remember what my sleep blog was about. Hence, I have not posted in a while.

I am glad you are back at it. I was afraid that you were serious about facebook replacing blogger.

Mattie Rae said...

I love the "flies over a deer carcas" analogy! I laughed out loud.

sharlee said...

Oh Andy. You are too funny. So entertaining! I do sense some sarcasm in your post, however. I studied those pictures of Ty throwing snow at you and, though his stance looks powerful and masculine, it looks like he is throwing at an arch, which we all know is not nearly as fatal so....

Christy said...

too funny! I am glad to see you posting again. I am also glad that I am not the only one that feels this way about blogging. Yet, here you are always coming up with a masterpeice!

Amy Jason said...

Thats so funny! You make me laugh so hard. I don't even know Ty that well but I can just picture him saying that to you and I can hear you laughing while trying to get him to stop! I love Sharlee's comment, and I would have to agree with her. He looks like he must know you a little bit, because it doesn't look like he threw them very hard:) Too funny!

Amber said...

At least you are open and honest about your writer's block, kinda like Oprah and her fatness. Me on the other hand, I'm in denial, sure that posting about my non-posting abilities will just be one more rung on my "stupid" ladder. Doing that un-plugged day is just a cover....

Stephanie said...

Well, we have great snowgear and some pretty sweet boards, but, alas, no snow.

Lena said...

Aww...the snow isn't that bad. Especially when you get to enjoy it for 2 weeks and then go home to beautiful sunshine (not trying to rub anything in.) You deserve an award for not complaining about driving on it. Those roads can get nasty!

Elisabeth (and Tyler) said...

Oh, the cleverness of you.. And I want to give you an Amen shout out on the snow.. I hate the stuff. And the pink? Love it. My nickname is Pinky. We were destined to be boosom friends. I wish you lived closer to me..