Monday, April 13, 2009

Love (or less fat) at Home


It's really so handy when my children beat each other up. It is cause and effect in its simplest, most easy to understand form. There is no need for me to conjure up creative imaginary scenarios to get my children to understand the error of their way. A little physical sibling combat is a child's do-it-yourself disciplinary wonder. I find that my children are 78% (I ran the numbers) more likely to truly feel remorse when they are on both the giving and receiving lines of attack. No wonder my grandfather was a strong proponent for giving boxing gloves (to his 8 sons - that's right, 8) as Christmas gifts.

Right now my youngest children are both crying over hitting one another with the attachments to my vacuum (most likely the only known use for many of them). It probably sounds cruel, but I chuckled a little as I took away their battering rams, said, "Don't hit," and calmly left the room.*

It has been said that laughing burns calories, and I'm pretty sure my calorie consumption for today is already in desperate need of a bonfire-style burning (by the way, my most recent study indicates that twix is the official candy bar of the day), so maybe I should tape off the basement, arm my children, sit back, and let the body sculpting begin! I just may have come up with the next big weight loss craze, you guys. Who's with me?

Bikini (and by bikini, I mean knee-length shorts, a long-sleeved rash guard, and a wide-brimmed hat), here I come!



*To be fair, and in case any of you are now writing a letter to your local congressman to demand better policing of vacuum-owning mothers: just as I wrote that, Sylas came in here to let me kiss him better, and I enjoyed that much better than chuckling deviously. I'm soft that way.

12 comments:

Matheson said...

Wow we are on the same page because my two kids were fighting over the same thing today. Seriously I might just let them duke it out more often then getting upset with them because I can't take the stress of it anymore.

Christy said...

My girls play pretty well together so I can't complain...not bragging, because it's nothing I have done to make them this way. Even when they do have a rare battle with a toy or something, within minutes they are both feeling so guilty they are literary hugging and kissing each other. Makes it easy to discpline, as they do it themselves. The Lord must be blessing me with this priceless gift, because he knows that when the twins are born I am going to need all the peace I can get, or I will be put- or put myself- in a Psychiatric ward.

Christy said...

great post by the way! ;) As always I love reading what you have to say!

Rozel said...

Will you write a book please? I just got warm fuzzies. Not over the kisses and the warm chuckling, over the small children with vacuum cleaners . . .JUST KIDDING!

Beautifully Written!

The United Statements of Merica said...

Boxing gloves hmm? not a bad Idea. I remember my dad handing us boxing gloves. I always welcomed the opportunity to try and knock my brother out.. which usually ended in tears from laughter.

This was fun to read.

Marianne said...

With Clara's attitude problem, if she were a little older I could see her and Noah realing duking it out.

I like your weightloss program. Maybe if I tried it I'd be more easy going about things. As it is, I usually have a hard time seeing the humor in those kinds of situations. I'm slowly (very slowly) getting better about that.

Amber said...

I'm glad to know you. It helps my calorie in vs. calorie out by having funny friends who make me laugh. Like deep belly laughs.

Spencer said...

You might be able to laugh at kids that age hitting each other, but I don't find it too funny watching my mini-12 year old go at it with his gigantic 13 year old brother. It's like being David's Mom and wanting to protect him from Goliath. Not very funny. That's when I get the vacuum attachment out to spank bottoms.

sharlee said...

Well, that was ME, not Spencer. I hate when he changes that on me.

Lena said...

Even President Hinckley and his younger (but bigger) brother were sent outside with boxing gloves. He said it only took once before he learned his lesson!

Now I know the reason I have all those annoying vacuum parts stuffed in the cleaning closet...I never before knew what their use was! Kuddos for having the vacuum out--that must mean you vacuum!

As for a diet plan...I am all up for laughing it off! Sounds a lot more fun than running more or eating less!

Jessie said...

Thanks for taking the time to enter in my photography give-away!

-Jessie

The Peterson Family said...

Isn't that funny? My kids use anything like that as swords to wack each other with...closet rods, golf clubs, serving utensils, whatever works for them. I usually get mad, but maybe I will take some pointers from you and just let them go at it!