Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Do a Good Turn Daily

*If you are just now joining us, and wonder what is going on, please refer to this. Then come back and play along!


In the fall of 1997, while attending college, I discovered a deep and abiding new interest in boys. Men, I should say. Gone were the slobbery, stinky teenage males. Suddenly I was surrounded by grown men (like, 21 grown!). I saw the potential for fun, and I seized the day like the girl version of Robert Sean Leonard (c'mon, don't tell me you've never seen Dead Poet Society), but minus the drama and suicide. Okay, maybe it was not like R.S. Leonard at all. Forget I said that.

Anyway, as soon as boyfriends could be secured, my friends and I were whisked away for a night of romance at the famous Dairy Bowl football game in Pocatello. I'm sure that, if you allow your mind to run free, you can conjure up images of the glamour that prevailed that fateful night. It was magical.

As we sat enjoying (?) the rough and tumble battle that ensued, I was delighted to find myself seated directly (as in my knees in their backs) behind a troop of boy scouts. The luck! As though the date were not fit enough for a princess as it were. I was pleased to discover that my date and I (or at least my best roommate and I - what do some boys find so fascinating about football, anyway? I wore my cutest outfit and flavored lip gloss for this?) could talk above the din of not only the game, but the gaggle of 14-year old boys. It was bearable.

Then came the half-time show. Of course it was cheerleaders. Of course they danced. Of course everyone saw their panties. Of course the little boys in front of me noticed. Apparently it was the highlight of their short lives, and they made no secret of it. As though I weren't uncomfortable enough on those bleachers.

I tried to ignore their behavior, but one especially vulgar gesture from right in front of me caught my attention, and before I could say, "...trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent," I found that my right hand was connecting ever-so-upside the boy's head. He turned around in shock, and I gave him my best "you know why I did that, and you know you deserved it" look. He turned around and sat quietly the entire rest of the event.

As for my date, he was beside himself with disbelief. Especially when he asked why I did that, and I uttered an unintelligible response to keep from discussing such un-lady-like details as would surely be pertinent in an explanation.

My boyfriend quickly got over it (as demonstrated by his attentions in the back seat on the way home - peach Bonne Bell didn't go to waste after all), but I don't know what ever happened to that boy scout. I'm just glad he was too embarrassed to tell on me. Cause now that I think about it, that's probably a crime. You don't just go around slapping kids in the head.

Well, I do, but you shouldn't.

10 comments:

sharlee said...

That WAS a smorgasbord of delight! In fact, I'm still burping up giggles. You are stinking hilarious! Can't wait for the next entree.

Amber said...

Bout time. I only clicked on my dashboard like a zillion times today waiting for your post. Thing is, this will be hard for me. I might have to wait until all of the posts before I begin to guess. Because I just can't see you slapping a boy upside the head. But I can see you slapping "that" boy upside the head. Okay, seriously. I'm stopping. No more until the end.

Amy Jason said...

This is going to be a fun game! I can tell already! It's going to be tricky! Can't wait till tomorrow!

Amy Jason said...

I think I over-use exclamation points!

Christy said...

HAHA! That was a delight to read! Thanks Andrea for making me laugh today.:) Hope you are doing good.

Elisabeth (and Tyler) said...

Peach Bonne Bell, huh? I always thought the boys loved Strawberry Kiwi. Somebody done lied to me :)

Emily said...

I might need to get out my journal from 1997...

Rozel said...

Oh I hope it's true, as I have wanted (every so badly) to slap many a child in the head. You would be my hero! Eagerly awaiting the next two and then I will give you my final decision.

Mardee Rae said...

Anybody who was raised by an Orton would probably know that was true. I'm not even going to wait for the rest of the stories. True. And Elisabeth, I guess I never had to vouch for Pocatello, but Strawberry Kiwi IS the right answer. (Still.)

Palmer family said...

HILAR is all I can say! :)