Monday, May 11, 2009

The Skating Game

*If you are just now joining us, and wonder what is going on, please refer to this. Then come back and play along!

As a teenager, I was not a fan of the male species. They were completely useless to me. I mean, I appreciated the physical beauty of the Mossimo man (if you ever saw those posters, you know who I'm talking about), Ethan Hawke, Christian Bale, and the like. I may have even gone so far as to admire a few of my upperclassmen, but I knew that if I wanted to keep a boy on the pedestal where I had put him, I must never have an actual conversation with him. Conversation only led to disgust and contempt, which is entertaining, but not the best way to start a relationship.

For some reason, though, I penned a clause in my Dating 101 Book of Regulations that read, "Boys are stupid and so unworthy of my time, unless they have already graduated high school." I don't know what magic I thought was suddenly bestowed upon young men who had put away childish things (namely high school) to enter the real world. Maybe (definitely) I watched too many movies from the '80s. Maybe I listened and took to heart everything my four older sisters said. Whatever the reason, I was not opposed to OLDER boys and knew that once I finished my four year sentence to high school, I would enjoy the opposite sex in excess. However, I fully intended to snub one and all boys under the age of nineteen until college. End of discussion.

I still managed to turn sixteen, despite my views on dating. The day after the event, my cousin called me with a grand plan. She would round up some boys, and we would "double". What could be more fun? Oh, I know! Disco skating! What is disco skate, you ask (and if you have to ask, then I must blot you from my book of bosom buddies. Sorry.)? It is a delightful activity that is almost identical to roller skating, only you dress up in your best disco attire. It is dreamy. This particular cousin and I made a habit of it.

My cousin was generous in her match-making. I got the older of the two gentlemen. My date was 19 and H-A-N-D-handsome. With a capital Good Looking. I almost regretted my extra efforts to look so '70s chic (hideous), but he was too nice to cringe, so I went with it. He was really cute you guys.

We rented our wheels. We tied our skate laces. We began our careful journey toward the skating floor. Then it hit me. Well, someone hit me. My feet came out from under me, and I lurched sideways. Luckily the carpeted half wall caught me, but not before I had hatched a brilliant plan. A plan in which I tell my date that I am really bad at skating. A plan in which I take full advantage of my recent display of obvious dis-coordination (disco ordination, spell check? How fitting.) to emphasize my point. A plan in which I am forced (by powers beyond my control!) to spend the evening in the arms of my date...or at least holding hands.

That is how I ended up arm-in-arm with one of the best looking lads in the land, turquoise eye shadow adorning my lids, orange bell-bottomed, and frizzy hair blowing (in one poofy mass) in the breeze, as we sped 'round and 'round to the tune of "Staying Alive". It was awesome.

Which only super glued my decision to stick with the non-high school crowd.

8 comments:

Rozel said...

Ooooo how wonderfully romantic. I did go skating and always dreamed that someone would ask me to skate during "Couples Skating". No one asked so I had to watch (with envy) the couples holding hands skating in circles to ridiculous love songs. Just because I am insanely jealous I am going to say . . . .Not True!

sharlee said...

Rozel...you make me laugh.

Why is it that when ever I went skating with a boy (which happened twice) either 1.) he was cute and left me in the dust or 2.) I wasn't attracted to him and he wanted to hold my hand every step of the way.

Your story sounds suspiciously like a fairy tale. Or at least in my world it would have been.

Mardee Rae said...

I'm with Sharlee. Exactly. In my world it was one of those two choices she laid out. Never the fairy tale. I'm not ready to vote yet, though. Wait, there is one more story, right? Hmmm. I'm thinking. Are you doing something tricky, like maybe it's all true except he wasn't 19? Or maybe it was just skating and not disco night? I'd like clarification as to whether or not the "one lie" is going to be completely fabricated or not.

Stephanie said...

Okay, after having read all three, I'm going to have to go with the slapping of a boy scout as the lie. Although, I wouldn't put it past anyone, or judge them too harshly if they were to put a disrespectful teenage boy in his place.

Amy Jason said...

Out of the three, i think this one is a lie. So when do we get to hear?

Amber said...

I think this is true. I think. But please let that part about the orange bell-bottom be an exaggeration!

Emily said...

I thought this was true, but I also thought Amy was the cousin... Hmmm. Although I know the outfit is not a fabrication - I've seen that outfit!

Christy said...

hmm...wow. that's a toughy. I was thinking the boy scout one, but this one sounds suspicious...yet you did have many truths to it...I have seen half carpeted walls before at a skating ring! There's one in Washington, or there WAS 15 years ago...