Friday, September 11, 2009

My Vent is Open


Oh, hi. Have you just been standing there wondering what I did today? Well, let's see. How to explain...? I think the best way for me to describe today is through a snippet of the 10-hour conversation I had with my husband. It went a little (very little as it turns out) something like:

Ty (on his way out the door to work): Hey, will you call all the scouts and remind them of the camp out tonight? Just make sure we get a final count before you go buy all the food. Oh, and I need you to gas up the truck, get all my stuff packed, plumb the bathroom downstairs, and remind me to find my bow staff and satchel (could have been, "bow saw and hatchet", but I'm not ruling the first two out completely just yet).

Me: Oh.....kay....wha....(as his car leaves a trail of rubber and me, choking on his dust, certain I'll need to add, "scrub that patch of burned tire off my driveway" to my list today)

Then, 12 phone calls later...

Me: Hi, Jimmy's mom? Yes, I was just wondering if you are planning to send that little darling on the camp out tonight? You are? Oh, but you need directions? And you have other questions I don't know how to answer? Well, never fear. I'll call my husband and give you a ring right back.

Another 64 calls after that...

Me, again: Ty. Jimmy's mom needs to know how many pine needles (and please round to the nearest ten) there are on Scout Mountain (I can't make these things up, people. That's really the name of the place). What? I don't know what species she wanted. She said pine. Is there another? Oh, there are twelve? Okay. Yes. I'll call her back.

593 delightful conversations under my belt...

Me, yet again: Hi, Mrs. Jimmy. It's me again. My husband needs more information in order to give you an exact count. Oh. Really. Okey-doke. You go ahead and call your husband and call me right back. Then I'll call my husband and call YOU right back. Then I'll call your husband just to make sure I have the information written down right (let me just get his work phone, his secretary's phone, and his cell phone numbers...). After that I'll call my husband again, your mother, your husband's mother, and all your neighbors. Then I'll twirl around three times, click my tongue, roll my eyes and sing Three Blind Mice. And I guarantee that by then I still will not know what is going on.

Approximately 12,795,300,532.4 1/2 increased risks for cauliflower ear...

Me: Ty, Jimmy's uncle's Dr. hasn't called me yet with that information you needed. Should I call him, or should I call Jimmy's mom again? She was pretty sure it was Blue Spruce...

Ty: Did you take a poll of all the citizens of the western United States? Maybe that would help.

Me: Yep. It didn't. Oh, I almost forgot. This morning before I talked to Jimmy's mom Johnny's dad called and said they're bringing their tent.

Ty: Oh! Why didn't you say so? The great pine needle debate doesn't even matter if Johnny has a tent. Ha, ha, ha.

Me: *click*

It was a long day. Filled with what is, to me, the most detestable of sports: voicemail ping-pong. You would think I could turn pro any second, and yet I lag.

Am I the only wife who spends 99% of her life as an event planner who hasn't been given any details - or even the date or location of the event?

Tell me I'm not the only one.



And pardon my vent.

11 comments:

Rozel (a.k.a. Michelle) said...

Thanks for letting me know via facebook that your blog was updated. I will email to let you know that I read your blog. Then I will text you to make sure that you read my comment. Just in case you don't have a texting plan maybe I will comment on your facebook post . . .

Amber said...

I just laughed out loud. I like having funny friends. I really really do. And we were blogging at the same time, I just couldn't narrow down the contents of my post so it took me foooorrreeever to get it posted (not quite as long as you spent on the phone today, but still long enough that you beat me to posting by many minutes).

Elisabeth (and Tyler) said...

So.. You're saying it's only going to get worse from here? Ugh. I'm hoping beyond hope that after all that, the trip wasn't canceled because of weather or something. Wouldn't that just be your luck.. Sigh.

Parley and Anna and family! said...

Not that I don't love wives supporting husbands in their callings, but, seriously, sometimes it seems as though we're the ones that have been asked to be scout leader, ym pres, ward missionary.... Yes. I feel for you. I bet you can't wait till they get back and there's lots of clean up to do?! Wahoo!

sharlee said...

How do I love you're blog? Let me count the ways....

I only wish one of OUR scout leaders' wives would call me once in a while, then at least I would know that it's not just my imagination that there are no details planned. She could at least fill me in on that fact. You're a trooper and I looooove your blog.

Marianne said...

Ugh! I hate having to make a zillion phone calls. But you make it sound so hilarious! So, it's hard for me to feel sorry for you. If that's what you want, than stop being so darn funny! You're like Joel- whenever he gets hurt I always laugh at him because he's so funny about it! It makes me feel very insensitive.

P.S.- Joel has that exact shirt that Ty is wearing. We should secretly plan to make them twinners at the next family thing.

Emily said...

Oh Andrea, I feel your pain. I was married to the scoutmaster for nearly 10 years. He is now in the stake ym's & I LOVE STAKE CALLINGS (for my husband)! The thing with camp outs is that no matter how good you feel about finally getting one over with, there is another one the next month! Ugh. You are nicer than me though - I've never packed, shopped or made phone calls for a campout. So what am I complaining about then? Hm, not sure. I guess just not having my husband home to lock the doors at night & make breakfast Saturday morning. I hope your weekend was nice & relaxing after being on the phone all day. I hate talking on the phone too. Hate. it. (I am working on an e-mail for you btw.)

Lena said...

You are a TREMENDOUS SUCCESS!!! you managed to turn what could have potentially been an exacerbating afternoon into a delight for us all! Been there, done that. Inform your husband that your ONLY mode of communication with future scout moms will be EMAIL (I detest tthe phone), and if they would like to have their son included in the head count or have any questions answered, they will need to set up an account and actually check it! We do have technology for a reason. phones are so archaic.

T-licious D-zire and C-hillins said...

You, my beautiful cousin, are the custest venter in the whole entire world. Please set up a girls night out (preferably out this way and including me) and make a list of things that your sweet husband needs to do while you're out *sigh*

Christy said...

Great post Andrea! Thanks for always making me laugh. I read this the other day, but didn't have time to comment. Sorry that your long day on the phone was entertainment for us. I hate the phone too. Hate it.

Higham Family said...

I feel your pain. Not in a scout kind of way, but in a "husband creating his own office" kind of way. There should be no middle man/woman-ever. Except for when it really works out to my advantage and makes my life easier.