Friday, July 9, 2010

Grocery Store in June

This is me dimming the lights. Things are about to get uncomfortably romantic around here. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Now I'm rigging my CD player to issue a continuous stream of Barry White songs, and scattering rose petals.

Just you sit yourself down, kind of cozy-like, close your eyes (okay, I guess for the sake of blogging, you'd better keep one open), and come with me to a magical wonderland of delight:

Smiths.

(Uh-huh)

6:38, Thursday night.

(Yeah, baby)

Frozen Foods aisle.

(MMMMmmmm)

I check the time and push my cart double speed, knowing I have to get home before 7:00.

(That's right)

(and that's all the Barry White I can muster for one post)

As I round a corner and head back toward the checkout line, I pass a group of boys. Our eyes meet briefly. I keep walking.

I immediately hear an exclamation, and out pops one of those boys from his aisle to ogle me and then relay indecent (and inaccurate) remarks about my rear end to his friends. The poor kid must be near-sighted.

I keep walking, but can hear them all giggling (or the male equivalent thereof), following me, and saying inappropriate things.

I weave nonchalantly in and out of aisles of bulk food, hoping to lose them, and eventually do just that.

Then.

As I stand in line, I hear them all screech to a halt behind me and dare each other to "ask me" - whatever that means. One of them starts to say something to me, but I strike up a very serious relationship with a magazine and ignore them all.

They finally settle into the line next to me, and I continue to hear more of the aforementioned remarks, and snickering (there, THAT's the male equivalent, isn't it?).

Then I leave in a hurry.

Sadly, none of them ever "asked me", so I don't know what that was all about.

I can only assume that they intended to ask me for a quarter so they could call one of their moms to come pick them up.

Seriously. They were 13. Maybe.

I know that my perception of age (especially within the tween/teenage set) is not very accurate, but they looked no older than 11 to me.

All I can figure is that the zit on my chin distracted them from noticing how old I am.

Teenagers. They see zits and automatically assume things.

But I guess I do, too.

6 comments:

Sharlee said...

Oh my heck! That's a bit scary. I have a 13 year old. Were there really no younger women to "snicker" and ask questions to in the WHOLE store? I mean, I see how they could have mistaken you for a teen, but.....
Yikes.

Michelle said...

Look at you Mzzz. Hot Mama! Causing a stir wherever you go. But. . . how very uncomfortable and gross. I think I would be tempted to say "Hey, I know your mom! I'll tell her I saw you (acting like an idiot)"

The United Statements of Merica said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.... aaahhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! I would have paid money to see that:)

Sandra {sawdust and paper scraps} said...

crazy teenagers!

T-licious D-zire and C-hillins said...

Just be happy that you can be mistaken for a cute teen girl. I would have been asked if I had any grandkids there age lol

Stephanie said...

OH to be petite! Someone definitely needs to set those boys straight, though. It's kind of a double edged sword.