Friday, March 28, 2008

Survey Says...

If I could have a moment of your time I am conducting a small poll and would appreciate your opinion. It has now, officially, been seven months since we moved across town - actually into a different town, out of our old ward, out of our old stake. More than officially an entire year since we gave notice to our stake pres. and bishop that we would be moving. I am curious whether or not anyone else is as fed up as I over Ty not being released from the bishopric of said ward. I am over it, to say the LEAST. It was confusing for the first two months, weird the second two months, and ever-increasingly maddening for these last three months, resulting in my current state of lividity (yes, my feelings are so strong I had to coin a new word, so take that spell check). I am tired of going to "his and her" wards, tired of dealing with three children and an 83-year old by myself each Sunday, and tired of feigning politeness when I am host to the young men and women at monthly firesides. You may say (as does everyone), "He should just stop going." While this is terrific advice with which I completely agree, my husband was somehow endowed with a strong belief in fulfilling his calling (I know, right? What the...). I am torn between throwing a certified fit (complete with tears, kicking and screaming - don't worry, I have taken notes each time my children do it, so I think I could pull it off quite nicely) to make him quit; and respecting his efforts to make the best of the situation, avoiding his resenting me in the future. It is a battle I wage with myself each Saturday night, Sunday morning, Sunday afternoon, and Sunday evening. Wounds sustained are a hardening heart, resentment, and my bloodied tongue (from biting back my angry words). Does anyone out there have an opinion? A suggestion? An address for a general authority to whom I could send a letter of complaint?
p.s. the date on my post says Friday, but it's Sunday. I started writing this Friday, but decided it wasn't blog-worthy. Now, after another day in paradise (aka church) I'm willing to let it all fly.

10 comments:

sharlee said...

Andy, I don't know how you've managed for this long. That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard of, and WHY? That's what I want to know. Are there no other capable Priesthood holders in that ward? My humble opinion (though not revelation) is that he is being kept from serving where he should be. Sounds like thy are taking advantage of his "strong belief in fulfilling his calling." What does Dad say about this situation?

sharlee said...

Lest I be smitten for my former remarks I should say that perhaps I don't know EVERYTHING, including the thoughts and intents of the Stake President. Maybe there are some real specific needs in that ward that only Ty, with his knowledge & wisdom and great personality, is filling, and they haven't seen fit to let him go. I still have never heard of such a thing, but....who am I....

Andrea said...

It IS a small ward (but I'm a small girl), it DOES have more than it's fair share of mentally ill folks (but I feel my own mental stability slipping each week), and the pickins ARE slim (but I feel picked-on). It's SO hard for me to feel kindly toward our old stake pres. cause I feel like he's abandoned us - like he just doesn't care, which makes me feel really bad, because we LOVED him. I think he's trying to punish us for moving - I know it sounds silly, but I've heard him on several occasions preach about the evils of everyone moving out of that poor stake and into the new subdivisions, which don't need as much help from stable families (according to him). He hates it when people run away from those wards. Plus, he wanted Ty to be the new bishop, even AFTER we told him our lot was bought and the hole was dug. He just wouldn't be convinced that we WERE moving. Weird. Another note, there may not be many worthy priesthood bearers in that ward, but there are enough. If branches in Mexico can call inactive men as branch presidents, I think that ward can find a replacement for Ty. Am I right?

Crowther Clan said...

I have never heard of such a thing! All I can say is you have a very very good husband because I cannot think of many people that would continue serving when they don't even live in the same town! So Ty is very uniquely good! I may have made up that word... uniquely, Im not sure. Anyways. I want to know what art projects you do at your house with your kids. Bjorn loves arts and crafts and I am just not very creative, so I need good ideas. I love when I have constructive things for him to do. So pass your ideas on over to me please:)

Matheson's said...

Wow- I haven't heard of that either. We asked to be released from our calling in nursery 2 months before I even had the baby- just to ease my mind (moving I know is even a better reason) and I can't imagine doing what you are doing- you are one strong girl! Just think of the blessings :)

Marianne said...

I agree with everything everyone else has already said in their comments. It is very bizarre. Has Ty had the courage to talk to the Stake President about the situation and relate to him what a struggle this is for you and the kids? I'm sure he does have his reasons, but it might nice for you to know what they are. I don't blame you for being upset. I would feel the same!

Marianne said...

This is Joel. First may I please tell you just how hard I laugh each time I read your blog. You have such a gift for writing (shut up its true!) and I enjoy every moment. In regard to your current dilema, it would seem that Ty is far too good, honorable and decent a man to do you much good. From the sound of things you must take matters into your own hands. For example, before he leaves for a meeting, you might consider "accidentally" sliping a copy of "The Watch-tower" or other equally delightful publications into his standard works. These can easily be obtained from your fiendly, all-too-eager neighborhood Jehovas Witness. Anytime said bishop, or stake president calls, you may consider such salutations as "praise the Lord", "halleluja", or "Alla acbar" as opposed to the more common hello or good morning. ( I would of course invest in a good caller ID before employing the afore-mentioned tecnique.) Before doing so, however, may I first suggest that the Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways. Sometimes we're asked to do things for what may seem to be no good reason at all. Cruelly, it often ends up to be for our benefit in some dadgum way or another. I have to admit,this one left me scratching my head, but I'm confident this too shall pass. I sure admire you guys! Love you. -Joel

Amber said...

Okay so my opinion may get me kicked out of the celestial kingdom, so I will keep it to myself. What I will say is often, in the struggle to help the gospel reach the far ends of the earth and in an effort to keep the church running smoothly, consideration for a family's sanity takes a back burner. It might not be right, but it happens a lot. I think something needs to be said. If it is affecting you and your family this much, I think it is counteracting all the blessing he is getting from serving. Maybe you should pen a letter, that way you could let them down easy with your wit! Just a thought.

Rindee said...

Have you had a talk with the Stake President? Maybe he is unaware of your feelings and how it is affecting your family. I wonder if you had a heart-to-heart, that maybe he would realize that this situation, although convenient for him, isn't helping your marriage or your testimony. On the other hand, he may be able to explain to you his reasoning or revelation that may give you just what you need to have continued patience.
You are lucky to be married to a man so devoted to the Lord.
Good luck, Andy

Higham Family said...

Bless you! I hate Sundays with two children and a present husband, to endure what you're doing is truely blessed. I vote for the hissy fit!