Friday, October 17, 2008

Thursday...or...Anyone Know A Good Nanny?

I am resigning. I knew all my positivity earlier in the week was too good to be true, but I never expected yesterday to hit me like a Mack truck with studded tires, leaving me feeling like sun-baked road kill. Thing is, it wasn't even a bad day, per se. There were no emergency room visits, no phone calls to poison control, and only one incident involving markers. Usually I would chalk that up in the success column. Not this time.

My recently 2 year old has decided that it is in his best interest to stop sleeping. After all, with so many drawers to empty, wipes to separate and scatter, and Desitin with which to frost bedding like a birthday cupcake, who has time for sleep? I sure don't. And that, my friends, is the problem. It is suddenly coming clearly into focus. I have not had enough rest.

When I don't get enough rest I get a migraine. Sweet spinning, throbbing, carpet-is-crawling sensation that is only motivated to greater depths of misery by Tylenol. Attempts at patience, understanding and good mothering are futile. Everything is overwhelming, especially my dirty kitchen floor (imagine pop - spilled - over and over...), and I feel *this* close to tears at every given moment. I am unproductive personified. And pain.

2 year olds need sleep, too. At night, but especially during the day. If not for their growth and development, then just to keep them safely tucked in their beds for 2-3 hours while their mothers try to reassemble order, or just try to remember one good reason NOT to put said child on Criagslist - under "free stuff." And, after days like yesterday (a night of screaming - both of us, and what already looks like a promising battle today), sometimes the only reason I can come up with is, "because the law usually frowns on that sort of thing." It's not much, but I'll take it.

Another thing 2 year olds need is constant supervision. The flurry of spills, smears, and drips that one focused toddler can create is a mathematical mystery for which no equation has been found to satisfy. If that mess-making energy could be harnessed, our world energy crisis would be absolved. Scientists in Switzerland are working on it as we speak. If they could just get that equation pinned down...

Want to know what I am incapable of when I have a headache? Constant supervision. And cleaning.

So you'll understand why you can consider this my two weeks notice.

Mary Poppins, where are you?

11 comments:

sharlee said...

I'm here Andrea. Want me to come get your kids? "Just a spoon full of sugar helps the..."
Sorry you had a bad Thursday. Hope today is better. Can't wait to see you tomorrow.

Amber said...

Welcome back my dear. It is nice to have someone throw those rose colored glasses out the window and say screw-it to the glass that was half full until your 2-yr-old spilled it all over your new living room carpet. The thing is, 2 is a mysterious birthday. Claire was a fabulous sleeper until her second birthday and then she went cold turkey. No more naps, which means no more sanity for mommy. She also has recently had an obsession with emptying out her wipes onto the floor. Want to see how high 800 wipes towers (I happen to know the exact number because she happened to empty EVERY last wipe from EVERY last package in the Costco box-o-wipes). So bottom line, I feel your pain. There is this amazing new place in Boise that is a nice coffee bar/sandwich shop with a spa-like vibe on one side. You drop your kids off in this massive playland area on the other side and retreat with the other at-wits-end mothers back to the other side. I believe it is heaven on earth.

Rozel said...

I don't have kids but I adopted a puppy. After three nights of no sleep because of his constant whining, he urinated on my floor and that was IT! He went back to the pound. So I can imagine that a two year old is that times 10.

I am sorry - my sister has days like this too and it really breaks my heart.

Matheson said...

Ahhh- the no sleeping begins. It began for me about a month ago and now I do everything from bribing to locking the door. I told myself when she is three she can go without a nap but she decided differently I guess and tells me "no", "I'm not tired", "I don't like books," etc... Some days I just give in and by the time hubby arrives I'm DONE! Fun times- sorry you had a bad day. I'm determined to make the best of mine because she will only be little for a short while. LOL- ok I need more sleep too & a nanny- funny thing is I was a nanny for many years and it just is different when they are your own. When your done with Ms. Poppins- could you send her on over. Thanks!

The Orton Family said...

I'm so sorry. I do have a really funny story that would make you laugh. Just got to my blog. I'm going to post it in just a minute.

Andrea said...

Sharlee, is that a cryptic message to drug the child? Very promising possibility...

Amber, so you know my pain of a blizzard of wipey bits...I may have to meet you in Heaven one of these days

Rozel, pound, huh? Hmmm...and you just dropped him off NO QUESTIONS ASKED? Int-er-est-ing...

Del, maybe I should have practiced being a nanny BEFORE I had kids. But then I may have never had any.

sharlee said...

No, but that's a brilliant line of thinking.

Palmer family said...

Andrea, you are killing me! Sorry you had a bad day. None of my kids are big nappers during the day. Never have been and never were. All 3 of them...and it is HARD! I hoping for a miracle with this next baby! Only time will tell if she is going to be a sleeper for me! (crossing fingers)They are all early risers too. I blame it on Trav since he is not a nap taker and is an early morning person. I am not a morning person and I love naps but only get that treat once in a blue blue moon! AHHHHH.

Emily said...

The End of Naps. Such a hard time for Moms. My girls didn't take naps past a year & a half. Pretty much when the next one came along, it was time for the older sister to stay awake ALL DAY. Takes some getting used to.

This is probably not what you want to hear, but I am SO GLAD the wipes & Desitin all over the house days are in the past! Not to say I won't see those days again, but I am enjoying the absence of those mess-making materials for now.

Christy said...

LOL! This post had me rolling!! But I am sorry to hear you had or I guess I should say having a rough time with the lack of sleep. It is an epidemic amoung mothers...I remember taking naps till I was like 5! What's up with kids these days thinking they don't have to after turning ONE or TWO?? It's a losing battle sometimes and trying to cope with kids under stress and pressure usually equals disater in our home! And if you ever locate Mary Poppins send her my way when your done!

By the way, we missed you at Shantalia's little party she had last week!

Higham Family said...

When Hunter was 2 1/2, he decided he no longer needed to nap. Which meant Henry at 1 1/2 decided he as well need no more naps. We went from the two of them being down for three hours to nothing. It sucks! It's been a year and I still miss nap time. I'm sorry you've hit that stage. Pray for pre-school to hurry up and come!