Thursday, July 16, 2009

Hair of the Dog

I just finished a monstrosity of a book, and am breathing a sigh of relief in blogging format. When I am reading a book I have no time for anything else. I am focused, obsessed, and slightly deranged. Books are intoxicating. My children are forced to forage for food, taking what they can find on the lower shelves of the pantry, or if they're lucky, looting the good stuff from the top shelf with the aid of an unguarded stool. Laundry piles up almost as quickly as do the meal droppings under the table. I wasn't going to admit this, but I haven't even made my bed for the past two days! It's despicable. When I finally glimpse the blank inside of a book's back cover, it is almost as if I remember the outside world once again with a start, and must begin to ease myself back into real life. Kind of like a hangover. I assume. Luckily my dogged scramble to do nothing but read a book from start to finish is usually rewarded with an ending within 24 hours. 48 tops. Not enough time for things to go completely to pot.

This book was long though. Excruciatingly long. I have been at it since Monday, and now that I have reentered my natural habitat I feel sick to death of reading. It seems like I haven't had a conversation with a real person in ages, and I can't clearly recall the last time I made eye contact with my husband. I mean conscious contact. I know there have been words exchanged, but the details are fuzzy. I hope we didn't make any big decisions this week. Like having more children.

Because more children would really cut into my reading time.

Not to mention my ignoring my children time.

Because obviously there is just not time enough in the day to neglect them by blogger alone.


*Picture collage (yes, I finally figured out how to collage - is that a verb?) is of happier, pre-1,000 page book times.
Namely, last weekend.


sharlee said...

That's an awesome collage, Andy! Teach me.
Love Samera's hair. What book did you read and was it worth it? I found a little something for you for your birthday today and hopefully I'll get to see you next week so I can give it to you. Love you!

Rindee said...

Yes, what book did you read, that you were so in to? Sounds like a good one, and I'm always looking for those.

Amy Jason said...

Too funny!! I honestly don't know how you are able to read a book with kids??? It took me about 10 hours just to read your blog. Im serious. I was so excited to see that you had updated, so I sat down to read it and got through one sentence when I hear "mom". I got them taken care of and sat down to read it again, and the same thing happened. It happened about 4 times before I was finally able to read it ! Any time I sit down to do anything, something happens that I am needed for. Very cute collage. I need to learn too. Cute pictures!

Andrea said...

No, it was NOT worth it. But if I start a book I am driven mad until I finish it. Even if it's not my favorite. I can't stop. That's why I am relieved to be done. If it had been an awesome book I wouldn't feel so bad about abandoning my kids, which (Amy) is how I read.

p.s. I already started another book. Oops. It just sort of happened. But this time I'm determined to stop if I don't love it.

Andrea said...

Okay, here's the formula:

morning - go to the park so kids can play while I read

afternoon - naps/quiet time so I can read

evening - let Daddy entertain (watch t.v. with) the kids so I can read

night - let Daddy put kids to bed so I can continue to read until the wee hours

I also read while I eat, while I watch the kids ride their bikes, while I cuddle a crying child, while I cook, and while I walk across the house to answer the phone.

There. Now I don't sound COMPLETELY irresponsible, right?

Mardee Rae said...

Oh, you are like my husband in this sense, to be sure. I am perfectly happy beginning a project and then waning in interest and finishing it six months later. Including books. Spencer turns into this cold-hearted hermit who doesn't care if I feel like cuddling or have something important to complain about...until he gets to the end of the book.
I love your formula for getting to the end of a book.
You still never told us which book.

Marianne said...

What book did you read? I hope you liked it. I'm just like that when I read. My kids become a nuisance. My problem is I don't read as fast as you, so the neglecting goes on a little longer.

Your collage is very cute! I have no clue how to do that sort of thing.

Marianne said...

I didn't see your formula until after I'd commented. Love it!

Christy said...

haha! Andrea you are hilarious. I love your honesty. Your formula is right on. This would be a typical conversation for me, using your formula:

Madi: "Mom can I have a snack please?"
Me: Yeah.
Madi after a few minutes: "Mom. Can I have a snack please?"
Me: "Madi I said you could.... Oh, you need me to... get it-?" (ugh!)
Madi after a few minutes, getting impatient: "Mom I asked you for a snack please?!"

After 5-10 minutes of reading/blogging I finally get up and get her a snack. That's terrible huh? I am working on this little habit of mine of ignoring her!

Cute collage!

Rachelle said...

the collage IS AWESOME! But I am completely the opposite, I rarely finish a book. I have no idea how I got an associates (someday a bachelors hopefully... if it doesn't require much reading.)

Rozel (a.k.a. Michelle) said...

Blasphemy! You didn't make your bed for two days? How do you look yourself in the mirror? I NEVER make my bed unless we have company over. Which is odd because it’s not like they go in our bedroom. I guess I should just stop making my bed entirely.

By the way, what was this book you were reading?

The United Statements of Merica said...

You just described me to a T. But shamefully, I don't read a lot of books. I just got the best app on my phone though. Kindle/amazon. I can buy books (around $10) and read it off my phone. I have it where ever I go. I love it. I can read in bed with the lights off. It's also more convenient while trying to eat, or other multitasking. just one more reason to get an iphone.

Amber said...

Seriously, now you have to tell us what book or you will have a riot on your hands! I need to read a good book. I just started a book and I couldn't get into it. I hate not finishing a book, but after the first few chapters I couldn't go on! And as always, you have made me laugh. ps. I am going to email you in a bit and tell you about our now defunct plan to surprise you on your birthday. It would have been grand.

Lena said...

Gosh! I can relate to that! NOTHING gets done while I am in the middle of a book (except for when I read President Hinckley's book, 'Go Forward With Faith', and then I felt soooooo guilty not jumping up and completing 10 million things every millisecond of my day that I had an incredibly hard time sitting down and reading the book. Every time i read another paragraph I felt as if I needed to accomplish at least as much as I had read in that one little paragraph before sitting down like a lump on a log and reading the next!) But normally, I am amazing at blocking life out and just reading...and yes, snacking on sugar is so much more fun than eating a meal (from your last post.)