Monday, November 16, 2009

When I am Old I will be Nice

Today I discovered that I am not perfect. I know, I know. It comes as a shock to me as well. Either I have been charmed to live a life almost entirely devoid of overtly rude acquaintances, or I have spent my life avoiding all confrontation. Or I am perfect, which we've already deduced is not the case (much to our chagrin).

Whatever the cause, I do not know how to handle situations in which I feel attacked. In fact they upset me. A lot. And I don't like that. Why should someone else's remarks get my adrenalin pumping to the point that I shake and perspire and can't think straight enough to remember to buy cotton balls? And drive across town and home again in a furious trance? Why can't I laugh it off? Why can't I think of witty, sarcastic comebacks when I need them (instead of an hour later)? Why don't (some) old people quit belly-aching about the ill-mannered youth of the world and concentrate on their own etiquette? Why do I feel like a little piece of me dies every time I go to Walmart? Why do I feel bad when I have done nothing wrong? Why do I have to call my husband from the dairy section for moral support and sympathy?

I have got to master myself. I do not like feeling out of control.

So what's the secret?

Besides never going to Walmart again, I mean.


Elisabeth (and Tyler) said...

Keep going.. I want the full, drawn out story! We are the same, I really can't handle confrontation. I cry. And quit my job :) THAT story really is to come..

Amber said...

When I worked at Home Federal, which was obnoxiously located inside Walmart, I learned a few tricks, secrets if you will, to survive Walmart. I will share them with you now in case you ever decide to venture back to hell, um, Walmart.

1. Check your soul at the door. There is no use for it inside.

2. If you decide to disregard #1, no worries. Walmart will suck the soul right out of you regardless.

3. Become a white-knuckle shopper. You are on a mission. Place a firm grip on the cart and DO NOT let go. You NEVER make eye-contact with ANYONE (including the cashier). In fact, don't even glance up. Get in, make swift purchase, get out.

4.Shop alone. Your children should never see you in this light.

5. Do not look back. What happens at Walmart stays at Walmart. It is best that way.

Christy said...

I loved Amber's comment, so funny! I am sorry you had a rough time at Wal-Mart, I hope it wasn't me!

I was having some similar feelings yesterday about an old friend of mine. I just feel like I get walked on by this individaul and it's so frustrating! I have helped her and tried being her friend in countless ways, watching her kids, taking her dinner, cleaning her house...the list goes on. Not that that matters, because honestly I love to help and serve, but when "friends" start taking advantage of me and snap at me and write mean emails to me, just because I couldn't host a party for them!!! Makes me a little upset. Can you tell? Anyway I am rambling, I feel your pain.

But the advice I would give you as I give to myself as well, is to just let it go. Give it to the Lord. It's hard for me to do this sometimes, because I keep taking the pain back and the feelings with them but when I finally do let it go, and give it to Him, it feels GREAT!

Emily said...

Detes please.

Mardee Rae said...

Uh huh, I'm going to echo Elisabeth. Please give us the details and "me too."

The other night I was up in the night stewing over a comment i read on somebody else's blog by somebody I don't know in the slightest about Business School being so much easier than Law School. It was probably a joke but here I am still venting about how snotty and rude and misinformed it was.... little tramp....
Uh, that was only party relevant.
But really, what happened? Please tell me that some old guy didn't slap your crying child (did you hear about that?).

Parley and Anna and family! said...

I really think that some people forget what it is like to have young children. I think they have this delusional idea that their children were perfect. ha!
Sorry to hear about the miserable experience, but please do share (I apologize in advance if this causes you further pain).

sharlee said...

Walmart is not for the faint of heart. It's sort of like the Circus (complete with weirdos at every turn) of the retail world. I avoid it at all cost. WHAT HAPPENED!?
I was just telling one of my friends yesterday that I never have a comeback. It's so frustrating. I bottle it up and my poor husband hears about it but the people who need to hear it never do of course.

Stephanie said...

I completely understand. I was a good kid, but when the teacher would yell at the class as a whole, I would feel guilty. It still happens. I have to actually play my own shrink and talk myself back up - it's pathetic.

As far as Wal-Mart goes, I don't know what ta tell ya. Amber's advice seems appropriate, though.

T-licious D-zire and C-hillins said...

I don't ever stick up for myself, but by golly I'll stick up for you! What on earth happened? Lemme attem Andrea, seriously!!! Walmart isn't the only place it happens, at least not for me. Our poor husbands have to listen to us cry and sort through our confusion - why can't people just live by the golden rule. All too often I believe people hurt others because of their own insecurities. My guess is your skinny, cute, confident self... with clean, cute, sweet children... threatened someone and they dealt with it inappropriately (dare I say 'idiotically') :) *HUGS* Andrea - You are an awesome person/mom/wife/friend/sister/shopper/cousin!