Monday, November 30, 2009

Pious


I made pie tonight.

Pumpkin pie. Tell me you love it, because if you don't we just might have to redefine our friendship. Like this: over.

Just kidding. I know there are some pumpkin pie antagonists out there, and I believe, no I KNOW, that this is a condition that can be overcome. All it takes is a little education, an ounce of faith, and a whole lotta' repentance. Cause, Baby, you've been wrong!

I'll admit that there was a time (last year) when I dry heaved at the sight of this yearly nod to our ancestors and their obvious dessert-making deficits. I once pondered, confused, what grizzly circumstances could have driven that first homemaker (we'll call her Hannah) to douse a delicate sugar and cinnamon-sprinkled crust with pureed squash. Was it a joke? Did she cover it with whipped cream and shaved semisweet, passing it off as chocolate silk, and then wait with her head buried in her apron to muffle the giggles as her guests took those first fateful bites? And what of those guests? Did they ooh and ahh with sincere gusto? Or was it a case of good old fashioned politeness? Did they finish their pie out of a sense of duty? And then, making innocent and casual conversation, ask for the recipe?

Did Hannah play along? Did she heckle her neighbors, tongue in cheek, about, "when are you going to try that pie recipe I gave you?" until they had no other choice but to bake it? Did they all show up at the Sunday picnic with pumpkin pie the next week? When did Hannah first realize that the joke had gone too far? Did she want to take it back? Do you think she was sorry for the destruction she caused? I choose to believe that she was. I think she probably baked a cherry pie (cause Johnny Appleseed hadn't arrived yet) every day until she died, as penance for her grievous crime.

Which is, naturally, why I have always loved cherry pie.


And yet. This year, in a sudden whirlwind of new found affection, I declared Pumpkin the pie flavor of the year...or maybe the Universe.

Cause sometimes God works in mysterious ways. Like through practical jokes involving pumpkins and pastry.





Was that blasphemous? Or just solid doctrine? Such a fine line...

9 comments:

T-licious D-zire and C-hillins said...

ha! I enjoy pumpkin pie! but only in very small amounts with lots of whipped cream :) So, when are you going to try that pie recipe I gave you?? haha LOVE IT! pureed squash is unique for pie, but let's not forget mincemeat.....and let's face it, some people just cook (and eat) really disgusting things, making pumpkin pie seem like a delicasy! ugh

sharlee said...

I am so glad you finally see the light. I have been in love with pumpkin pie for a few years now. I think why I never loved it before was because of memories of homemade pumpkin pie filling that someone (maybe mom, I dunno) made and it wasn't pureed--just mashed or something. Stringy, nasty, disgust.

This post of yours belongs in a big newspaper.

Marianne said...

I've never been in love with pumpkin pie. Sorry- can we still be friends? But maybe I haven't given it a sporting chance. I'm just so in love with berry and citrus pies that there might be room enough in my heart for pumpkin pie. We'll see.

As always, I love your writing!

Amber said...

So here's the thing. a. You are a riot. b. I only like pumpkin pie when my brother-in-law makes it because he adds coconut and it is divine. c. I made my first pecan pie this year (note to everyone who hates pecan pie-which used to be me, um you are wrong) and I have to say, I am now a pie wizard. It was delicious. In fact, I am creating a fake Thanksgiving just so I have an excuse to make another. And another. Because I ate almost the entire 1st one by myself. Is that bad? If I drive up there will you make me a pumpkin pie?

The United Statements of Merica said...

I will have to try yours (that's an invitation to come to california and make pie for me). My kids love pumpkin pie, but they must have inherited that from their Dad, because I have never been a fan. But my sister inlaw made a thin (in a tart pan) creamy one this year and with the vanilla ice cream it was heaven.

Christy said...

HILARIOUS! So I am also not a pumpkin PIE fan, but I LOVE pumpkin bread with chocolate chips...does that still make us friends?

This post does belong in a newspaper! Send it in!

Amy Jason said...

I love pumpkin pie so we are safe to stay friends! My FAVORITE thing though is called pumpkin strussle. I will email you the recipe and you must try it immediately! Make sure you eat it cold, like pumpkin pie. Its to die for! I could eat a whole 9x13 pan myself! The best part about it, is it's SO EASY! So tell me what you think! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Rozel said...

I like pumpkin pie cheesecake better than pumpkin pie. If I eat pumpkin pie I do need tons of whipped cream. NOT COOL WHIP, real heavy whipping cream! MMMMmmmmmm. . . nuts, I just drooled on my keyboard.

Lena said...

I almost wanted to give pumpkin pie another chance! I can do one bite, two is pushing it, and three brings on the dry heaves. Whatever happened to good ole 5 gallons of sugar combined with pecans (aka: pecan pie)?