Wednesday, August 18, 2010

My Hero

Today at 3:50, I called a half hour quiet time.
For my sanity, and the simple fact that I want to be a grandmother someday.

I figured 30 minutes of quiet would double all our chances of living to see tomorrow.
I was wrong. Again. (It's becoming a habit)

My first bad move was the ultimatum, "Do something silent, or take a nap," because as soon as I lay down on the couch, there was NO WAY I was going to move again, let alone endure the torture that it is to make my children take a nap. I could muster up some yelling, but that was IT.

(don't EVEN lecture me on following through with threats. I don't want to hear it. If you do, I'll scratch your eyes out...)

Sy and The Shum (poor Saylor, with all these crazy nicknames we give her. Do you think she'll be scarred for life?) disappeared rapidly, to whoknowswhereorcares. Mera lay across from me on the love seat.

She held still for precisely .5 seconds. Then she started rubbing the pillows, which would be fine if I had chenille pillows, but I don't. They are silk. And they make loud, crinkly noises when touched. She snuggled and petted those dang pillows within an inch of their (and her) life, until I could take it no longer, and told her to be quieter.

She tried. She really did. I should give her some credit. But she is the loudest human child to ever survive this long. If she were a baby chimpanzee, her mother would have devoured her by now (What? Monkeys don't do that? Well, they don't know my Mera). I can seriously hear her breathing from 26 miles away. She went downstairs and played barbies, rode the bouncy horse, and tinkered with computer games, which ended up sounding like transatlantic jet planes colliding, a monster truck rally, and a demolition crew, respectively.

Luckily she was saved from my wrath by a phone call from Ty.

When I recounted it all to him, it seemed kind of funny. And we started laughing.

Guess we'll all live to see another quiet time.


Sharlee said...

You always succeed to crack me up, sister. Samera is still alive because she is hilarious and cute. Quiet time is for grandmas.
I don't think there is such a thing when you have kids at home--doesn't matter what age either. It only gets worse.

Emily said...

I am having quiet time right now! My baby is asleep & I now have 3, count 'em, 3! kids in school. Neener neener. Just kidding, I love you, even though you care more about how your pillows look, than how they sound. I love Sharlee too lol at her comment.

Maybe your other readers will give you some sympathy. :)

I am loving your post-every-day-in-Aug by the way, it just might inspire me to blog again!

Christy said...

LOL!!! Oh my gosh. I was laughing so hard. Sounds exactly like my thoughts when I am so tired and every noise the kids make is amplified that much more when trying to fall asleep.

Michelle said...

My mom used to tell us to "quit breathing" when she wanted quiet time. Which of course made us girls giggle. Then it was "quit giggling". Poor moms around the world. All they want is a little nap!

Sandra {sawdust and paper scraps} said...

We have a quiet "contest"!!! Whoever is quietest the longest gets some fantastic prize like whatever piece of candy I can find. It works! And, I bet Maddie could compete for the loudest child ever. I swear!!! She is going through some stage where she constantly has to be clucking or grunting and shrugging and twitching, all of which are incredibly annoying when you are trying to take a little nap on the couch and she has to cuddle up because she is also in a snuggle you to death phase!!! Gotta love em thought,,,right?

- Brittany said...

LOL! I so get this rant. My kids don't understand why I need quiet time ;-D. Have you seen the Sienna commercial where the mom has quiet time in her van? I want to do that.