Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Some People Call Me a Space Cowboy

Today was sugar-free Tuesday.

We go in phases:

Phase 1: I cook every meal, consciously make an effort to provide an array of healthful snacks, and limit desserts and snacks to a few times per week.

(during this phase, I wait until the children are in bed before breaking out the oreos)

Phase 2: My patience falters, as my children pester me for snacks and fail to appreciate my home-cooked meals. I offer dessert nightly as an incentive to eat their dinner.

(I bake a huge batch of brownies, and snack on it every time I go into the kitchen, so it only lasts two days, instead of the entire week)

Phase 3: I give up completely, and let my children forage in the pantry. We eat cold cereal for breakfast (and sometimes for dinner). I let them have dessert after every meal.

(I don't even bother eating lunch, because the m&ms I opened at breakfast hold me over until my mid-afternoon cinnamon roll)

Phase 4: I. HAVE. HAD. IT. I panic and think my children are going to die of malnutrition. I make a resolution to start phase 1 again.


But it looks like we have fine-tuned the phases, as we are now going from 1-4 in six hours or less. We did so well until about 3:30 this afternoon. Then I completely forgot, and told the kids to go have a Popsicle. I even took pictures of them sitting on the freezer in the garage, enjoying the world's largest otter pop and a bowl of Popsicle juice. I didn't realize my mistake until Ty got home and I tried bragging about our super cool sugar-freeness. That's when Samera piped up about my lapse in consistency.


Sometimes (allthetimes) I can be so spacey.

p.s. if you can guess how many oreos were consumed during the making of this post, that makes one of us.


Sharlee said...

You make me laugh out loud. Shhh. The kids are in bed.

Amber said...

The health of my children, above all other fears, consumes my mind these days. I am failing them BIG TIME because of my sheer laziness. I just get so frustrated I resort to phase 4 all the time. We live in phase 4. I don't even make an effort to begin again because I know we will fail. And then I think that I'm making Claire obese and I freak and call her pediatrician and ban anything non-whole grain and begin making them run laps around the neighborhood (okay so maybe not that extreme but you get me right? Of course you get me, you wrote this post after all). So what did all that gibberish mean? I hear ya. Same page.

Michelle said...

Maybe they were sugar free popsicles!

Mardee Rae said...

i love you!!! you are like a cooler, more eloquent version of myself! And a funnier version of me (in a good way?) :) I'm certain I've told you before. I mean it. You are so funny.

The United Statements of Merica said...

ha ha ha ha ha. this made me laugh so hard..

1. you're not hypoglycemic. You're addicted to chocolate.. low blood sugar is not the same as withdrawls

2. if you don't have treats in the house they'll resort to fruit.

how am i so wise you ask?
let's just say this scinario is painfully familiar.. and lets just say one minute you're eatin' oreos by the bag and weigh 105 lbs and the next you're on medication that makes you fat no matter how healthy you eat.. probably.. but maybe you haven't completely given up junk so it's hard to say