Monday, March 28, 2011

Dear Editor of Teenagers

This morning I watched the news.

I only watch it for 30 minutes, three times/week when I do Elyptical at the gym.

And that is plenty (of both).

All the destruction.

All the devastation.

All the heartache.

All the fear.

That, I can (pretty much) handle.

But this morning's story made me want to scream.

Facebook Depression.

Dead. Serious.

It's a new phenomenon among teenagers, and apparently it is no laughing matter. Well, for me it is, but the newsroom was taking it pretty seriously (look it up. Because I'm too lazy to link).

I'm sorry (no, I'm really not), but if your kid is so spoiled, self-centered and/or has so much unsupervised access to social media that they are DE-flippin'-PRESSED...well, I am just at a loss for words to express my disgust.

If your kid has Facebook Depression, then they need some real problems to worry about.

Honestly. Sometimes I wonder whether all this wonderful American freedom and prosperity is making some of us ridiculous.

Call me crazy (again), but the juxtaposition of the Facebook Depression news report and Footage of Japanese Attending Funerals/Nuclear Reactors On The Verge of (more) Disaster made me ponder the future. It made me wonder what all these sissy teenagers being raised in our world are going to do when something REAL happens.

I mean, real things are already happening.

And we are reporting Facebook Depression.

*exasperated sigh*

p.s. I spent the weekend perusing this, one of my new favorite sites. Check it out. Unless you are a coddler (in which case, I wonder about your decision to read my blog, so move along), you will think it's awesome.


Sharlee said...

"Move along"!? You make me laugh! Wow. Facebook depression. I'm not even a licensed therapist but I know exactly what the cure is for that and it only took me three seconds to figure it out. GET OFF OF FACEBOOK and GET A REALITY! Duh.
Glad you like the website. I'm going to have to read her book.

Parley and Anna and family! said...

What? You're trashing my two favorite things: facebook and coddling! Really, fb is get to connect with long-lost lovers, waste your whole day and night away perusing "friends" pages with whom you haven't actually talked with in 15 years, post ridiculous things you then regret, and a million other unbelievable things (like acquiring fb depression)! Really, it's the best thing out there!
And then coddling? I can't believe you don't practice the child-led parenting style! I mean, it's always been my dream to breastfeed my child till he's 10, have him strapped to me 24/7 until he's seven, and let him decide all the boundaries!

Yes, facebook and coddling...they are the best!

The United Statements of Merica said...

FOR. REAL. I totally get it.. except for that word juxtasposition.

I'm caught somewhere in the middle of super spoiled latchkey kids and berkeley-esque moms who fit Parley and Anna and family's discription of coddling.. I NEED your blog!.. ok, that came out wrong.. I'm not caught there.. I live there.. as in, these are my neighbors

btw, are you planning to attend the Orton reunion? we could be neighbors if only for a few days

Michelle said...

That is when you know it's time to facebook detox.

Marianne said...

I saw that report too and thought it was a little weird, and your rant about it was so right. You should have been the one reporting on it. That would give those wimpy kids something to think about.

I checked out that website, and very interesting. I liked the post about the new rule on car seats. I could go on all day about that one, but I won't.

Christy said...

I saw this news broadcast too and thought, "are you kidding me?" Ugh! Get these kids off Facebook then. Yes, it is sad to see/hear all the internet bullying that is out there, but I think as parents we need to be a little more...uh, smart about letting our kids on social networking sites and also give them time limits. I even give myself limits 5-10 minutes. Facebook to me, is actually boring at times and I wonder why I even get on it sometimes. weird.

Annette said...

Well at least I probably won't fall victim to facebook depression if I only look at it once a week or maybe it is once a month. I can't think of any malady that would be more rediculous. But mark my word, there will be someone who will come up with another one that is even more outrageous.

Amber said...

So what now you're going to mock my depression? Facebook is a safe place for me to pretend to have a perfect fake family for all of my perfect fake friends to envy with their perfectly selected pictures and perfectly crafted status updates. Don't ruin it for me. I need that escape from reality.

Kacy said...

I just wanted to leave a comment so you don't get Blogspot depression.