Wednesday, March 16, 2011

It's Not What You Think



This morning I woke up with a hickey. A HICKEY, I said.

Sick.

I cannot figure out why my neck would spontaneously produce such a thing, and I am afraid to 'google' it.

First, I thought maybe I got rug burn from turning my head too swiftly while sleeping?

(impossible: my sheets/pillowcases are too soft. The softest I've ever encountered, as a matter of fact. Seriously. Anyone else out there love Garnet Hill?)

Then, I thought maybe Ty thought it would be a funny thing to do while I was sleeping?

(impossible: While there are a few things Ty thinks are funny that I do not, that would definitely not be one of them. He doesn't do practical jokes. Plus, I texted him to find out if he did, and he didn't)

Third, I thought maybe our house is infested with vampires?

(impossible: impossible)

Fourth, I thought maybe one of my children sneaked in and either scratched me (it's happened before, and I have been accused of having a hickey!) or stuck one of their dart gun suction darts on my neck?

(impossible: I am the lightest sleeper in the tri-state area - wherever that is. Plus all those dumb darts are broken or lost)

Last, I thought maybe the tumors I contracted last post probably cause ruptured blood vessels in the neckal region?

(possible?)

All I know is, I learned several valuable lessons:

Hickeys are mysterious. And unattractive.

and

Don't judge a girl with a hickey.

and

Scarves are a girl(withahickey)'s best friend.

Too bad they don't make workout scarves. Cause that would have saved me some embarrassment at the gym.



Please share in the comments your expert opinion on how one would go to bed without a hickey and wake up WITH one. It is driving me crazy.


(The picture is of the inevitable wrestling match that marks each Sunday as a family get-together...rug burns and broken furniture are their trophies. It was the most relevant picture I could find. You didn't think I would take a picture of my hickey, did you?! Sick.)

9 comments:

Christy said...

Hmmm...strange thing, hickey's are. My hubby has woken up to big red slashes down his neck before...twice. and NO, there was no action the night before so I don't know how he got it and even if there WAS...action, I don't scratch. But Hickey's, now that's weird. Maybe Ty was sleep-kissing you and doesn't remember. ;)

Sure miss Pocatello! Hope you are doing good, besides the hickey.

Parley and Anna and family! said...

right. I think you have covered all possible explanations. what else could there be? Although, as Christy mentioned, sleep-kissing is a possibility.

Sounds suspicious.

Sharlee said...

Wow. Maybe your lips are getting so long and you still have a sucking reflex and you did it yourself.

or

Maybe it was a leperchaun?

Mardee Rae said...

I really like Sharlee's explanation. But, could it possibly have been contracted, ahem...the usual way?

I'm just saying, some of us get them really easily and sometimes no matter how much we lecture our husbands, it happens. And scarves are worn. And husbands are yelled at. and told they may not come close to their innocent wives ever again.

Of course, I don't usually associate with those kinds of people, but it happens.

Natural said...

I just don't know, Andrea. But I believe you when you say you just woke up with it. I did however Yahoo it, and everything says it's from sucking. I tried to find an answer, I really did.

Natural said...

Ok, so Natural is Stephanie N. I don't know why it has that name - oh wait, I think the same thing happened to me that happened with you, Tyrone.

Michelle said...

LIKELY STORY, Andrea! I'm not buying it. Public Relations 101 tell everyone your side of the story before people make up a story. ;0)

OK - my hypothesis is you probably were scratching/rubbing your neck in your sleep. I have strached myself so much little blood blisters surface. That is what I told my mom anyway - JUST KIDDING!

P.S. Blogger needs a "like" button so that I can "like" Sharlees status - Sharlee you crack me up!

Kimi Lou said...

Do you sleep with your hands up around your neck? You never know what kind of pinching or suction those hands can make in the unattended hours of sleep.
I, too, am looking for a few inspiring April Fool's ideas. Let me know what you come up with. I did see some hilarious food ideas once (Things that looked like dilectable desserts but were actually made of other "yummy" things like mashed potatoes and carrots, etc.) Too bad I can't remember where I saw them. I'll look online.

Amber said...

Oh oh. I know. I know. My years teaching at a gym would have really come in handy here. Also it might have helped if I was keeping up with your blog. Or anyone's blog. I miss it. And you. Even though you have hickeys- gym hickeys as we so lovingly refer to them. I get them all the time. I'm secure with them now though!