Friday, July 8, 2011

In Which I Unabashedly Reveal Myself to be Irreversibly Petty and Juvenile

I like to have the final word.

It's (one more) something I struggle with.

For this reason, Facebook is my Mt. Everest.

(if I knew what that meant, that is)

I have to will myself away from my keyboard sometimes, reminding myself to take the high road. Reminding myself that it does not matter whether or not a person thinks they have one-upped me.

(If I'm going to be perfectly honest, I actually don't have that much will power. Instead, I write scathing rebuffs and then delete them. It's great for diffusing my frustration, but I live in fear of pushing a wrong button and publishing one of them)

There are a couple people in my Facebook life who test the limits of my good manners in this regard.

(my good manners' limits are far from where they should be, despite a proper upbringing. Obviously)

I have very little patience with people who insist they know everything, and argue to that end on every subject.

I don't like to argue.

I like people to be polite when I make a statement.

Especially since most of the statements I make are complete balderdash. Rubbish. Off the cuff, blown out of proportion, in-the-heat-of-the-moment folderol.

I detest the Well, Actually man (or woman). And I think it's safe to say that my sentiments are repeated across the board:

No one likes a thrill-kill.

(around here, a 'well, actually' and a 'thrill-kill' are the same thing, just so you know)

It never ceases to amaze me that these Well, Actually people fail to notice social cues, and think that they are enlightening the rest of us;

That they don't understand that it's not our inferior intellect that keeps the rest of us from telling everyone how/what should/shouldn't be done in any given instance, but it is our etiquette;

That no one gives a flying flute what they think;

And especially that they ever get married!

(how could a spouse survive such an existence?)

I guess what I'm saying is this:

Please, please, PLEASE bless that I get to be present when all the super brilliant know-it-all, 20-somethings (and sometimes older) in my life suddenly grow up and realize how little they know.

Or how much the rest of us know, that we just keep to ourselves.

And that as those realizations dawn, I get to look smug and say,

"Hah! I knew it!"


Elisabeth (and Tyler) said...

Yep. I love you and think you are fabulous.. This was perfectly written. Love. It.

Sharlee said...

Nicely put!

Now I have to go and read your facebook history.

Parley and Anna and family! said...

Perfect. No "well, actually" here. In fact, could I copy this and send it to some people I have the pleasure of associating with? On second thought, that might come off too know-it-all-y.


About Us said...

haha! Excellent post Andrea!

Emily said...

Ditto Sharlee - off to Facebook! I love the "hide" button when "unfriending" someone just seems too harsh. :)

The United Statements of Merica said...

If it's me you're talking about, I'm really sorry. I'll be better..

If it's not me.. Amen. You are brilliant.

Nathan Walker said...

Your writing style reminds me somewhat of your dad's--which is meant to be a very high compliment. Loved this post. :-)

Mardee Rae said...

Well, actually, I just wanted to tell you I love you.

Darcee/Daryl said...

AMEN!!!!! (Wait....isn't "amen" the last word?)
keylime is my favorite.