Distinguished

Do you ever watch your child do something hard that you would/could never do, do it well, and just feel your heart grow eleventy-five times stronger with hope and faith that everything is going to be okay?

That is how I feel.

Especially since I was a nervous wreck (I vascilated between wanting to cry and wanting to jump out of a window) because I hadn't seen Saylor practice anything, or been to any of the many meetings and trainings she attended. This was all her.

ALL. HER.

ALLLLLLLLLLLL.

HERRRRRRRRRRR.

She does not overshare (we are lucky to get two words/day out of her. no exaggeration.), so I had no idea what they were (supposed to be) learning or doing. All texts and instructions were hers alone, and I was completely out of the loop every night. Most nights I didn't even know where she was, and would text her and get a short response, "DYW". (Distinguished Young Women Scholarship Program)

(*returning home*
Me: So what did you do?
Saylor: Oh, you know. Just practiced. Good night!")

And guys, she never practiced her actual talent performance.

And she has never danced a step in her life.

And there were three dance numbers.

(And I have never attended one of these events before, and there were no parents allowed at dress rehearsals or back stage, so I was literally clueless)

Can you imagine how scared that made me?

(a pox on my decision to wear a Hand Wash Only shirt on such a sweat-filled night! Nice knowing you, shirt. See you in the afterlife. Which is when, I can only assume, I will finally get around to washing all my hand-washables...)

And then she was awesome. And hilarious. And unflappable.

And the stage hand, you guys.

THE STAGE HAND who saw the easel falling (we discovered later that the chain that extends to hold it up was tangled, so when the guys set it up, it was already super unstable, dang it) and ran as fast as he could behind the stage to the other side to try to save the day, but got there too late and still sacrificed his body to do all he could to help. I want to bawl every time I think of him. God bless him, wherever he is!

And then, she told me, all the girls were like, "Oh, Saylor! Are you all riiiiiiight?!", expecting her to cry after her talent went awry, and she was like, "What do you mean?! That was AWESOME!!" cause she had so much fun.

I have a bad mothering habit of assuming my kids are like me, and have the same weaknesses, and expecting less of them than I should.

It is strange and beautiful to realize that your child is perfectly capable of navigating things without your (overbearing and) constant supervison/control.

I am allowing myself a few days to feel excessively, punch-drunk proud.

Beware.

(and also be aware, because we were not until it was too late, that the spot light made it impossible to see what she painted, *sad face*, but that she is going to finish it and refine it, now that she has longer than 90 seconds, and it will be for sale soon)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghBsaICD5Es&feature=youtu.be