Thursday, December 4, 2008


So, just to ensure a constant supply of shock, my husband's father announced his upcoming marriage today. This is after telling us mere days ago that he was moving back to the land of milk and honey and everything good: South Carolina (where the heavens rain manna and people answer basic questions with a song and professionally choreographed dance).

No, no. It gets better. Remember that time I wrote about how he's getting married? Well, he is:
And the wedding is tomorrow! As in twelve hours from now! As in my husband had to take an emergency day off of work, and we scrambled to find babysitters for our 84-year old and get our daughter out of school.

Can't get any better you say? Oh, how I chuckle at your naivete:
It is a secret. Aside from ONE of Ty's four brothers, we are the only people who know. Isn't that delightfully awkward? Luckily, in our ten+ years of marriage, Awkward has become a constant and familiar friend. He is invited to all family functions, and he always accepts...but not without first giving a long, uncomfortable silence while standing face-to-face, 1/4 inch away. Just in case you didn't get that, I was talking about Awkward like it is a person. It was brought to my attention that it didn't make sense. Sorry. Oh, how I could use a few English classes.

Still clambering to understand this bizarre post? Let me deepen your confusion:
We were officially uninvited an hour ago. Only the two brothers are allowed, and only because there must be two witnesses.

You know this is just another day in the life of being married to my husband when the only thing that strikes me as odd is, "So you are taking a day off, and I don't get to see you?!"


*wedding bells, of course


sharlee said...

Oh man. Where is this long awaited occasion to take place? Who's Ty's new step-mom? Does this mean he has to keep this secret forever? Who reads your blog? Oh, I have so many questions.

Amber said...

I say crash the wedding (84-yr-old and all) and bring Awkward along with you (I totally got that paragraph even w/out the explanation, but probably because I attended PHS!). Just my thoughts....

Marianne said...

Do I say congratulations? I'm sure you were wondering the same thing.

Christy said...

Wow. Crazy. Congrats? So I guess right now they are already married...and I take it you don't even know who this mystery woman is or where they met or anything?-!

Rozel said...

Bless his little heart. That is what I say (through gritting teeth in order not to spout other offensive words) when one of my acquired-by-law-relatives does something unblogable.

Lena said...

So, I realize that I missed the wedding...darn...but did you crash? It sounds like so much more fun (and way less awkward) to crash the wedding that you were uninvited to than to have been just plain old secretly invited and have to attend!

Lena said...

Forgot...yes, we live in Gilbert. Don't know how in the world you missed that. Probably because I never blogged it : ) And, would you please email me your address...I am playing with the idea of sending out christmas cards...if I ever get around to it! lena"at"stums"dot"org.