Monday, May 16, 2011

Real Mature


Last week I had to explain to my husband what Maturation Day at the school is. Because it was on his schedule for this week, and he thought it was something a lot less awkward than it actually IS.

And, because we're super mature, we laughed a little over it.

Then he called me this morning and said, "Hey, remember when we were making fun of Maturation Day?"

And I said yeah.

And he said, "Well, guess who gets to teach it?"

It was a good thing I was stopped at a stop light when he said that, because I almost passed out laughing.

I mean, I could not stop laughing.

(remember how mature I am? I know you are, but what am I?)

I tried. I really tried to empathize with his predicament, but I just couldn't get over how awesome it was:

The school had a nurse set up to come teach it, but she called and canceled, so they handed over the 18 minute video, some pamphlets (interesting trivia: my husband pronounces it "pamplets"), and the expectation of his speaking for the remaining 22 minutes to Ty.

They must not know that his own father gave him "the talk" the night before he got married. At age 24. And "the talk" was one sentence (actually it was more of a rhetorical question) long. Let's hope that's not genetic.

What made me laugh harder than his having to teach Maturation to a bunch of fifth graders? When he told me that he (still) thought it would just be a little personal hygiene, no-big-deal stuff, and then he flipped open the pamphlet to something REALLY...shall we say...beyond personal hygiene.

If I were prone to wetting my pants, THAT would have been the end for me.

Oh, boy.

Any week that starts like this is bound for greatness.

I can't wait!



p.s. I have every confidence that Ty will give the best darn Maturation presentation anyone has ever seen. But I still have to giggle when I try to picture it.

12 comments:

Sawdust and Paperscraps said...

Oh my heck! I can't imagine. Is Maturation Day a combined class? Do the girls have to be taught by a MAN? That would be awkward.

Andrea said...

Sandra: No, that would just be cruel! Thank goodness he is not teaching the girls. Just the boys.

Elisabeth (and Tyler) said...

Do you happen to know any 5th grade boys you could equip with a hidden camera? Then you COULD be a fly on a wall..

Sharlee said...

Ha haaaaa! THAT would be the hardest job. Why did the nurse "cancel"? And why is Ty the one who's suppose to know how to approach the subject? And on such short notice? That's just rude.

I went to Josh's maturation speech and it was much more in depth than I had anticipated, but the guy did such a great job (you could tell he had done it many times--he was from the university and went around to all the schools in the valley doing it) Ty will do great. And he probably gets to hand out deodorant at the end and all the boys like that. I'll pray for him :).

Rindee said...

At our school, parents are welcome to attend. You could show up as a "parent", no video camera necessary.

Marianne said...

That is just too funny! Did he survive?

Emily said...

I love maturation day, at least I love hearing my husband's stories about it. Hee hee. He's taught it many many times - just the boys of course, the nurse teaches the girls.

Mardee Rae said...

Oh, man, you gave me a great idea to try to arrange this sort of thing when our kids are that age, but then I remembered that my husband can say just about anything and not be embarrassed, and that would pretty much take all the fun out of it.
This story is so funny!!!

Parley and Anna and family! said...

What a lucky guy! I really hope he came back with some funny stories to share! Honestly I think there are some 5th graders out there who know more about mature topics than I do. :) Sad, but true.

I hope he survived!

Amber said...

That's awesome. Also awesome? The size of the thighs on that sample woman. Also I could never attend one of those things. I would giggle the entire time. Because sometimes (ahem, often) I act like I'm 12.

The United Statements of Merica said...

I love it!! that is so funny. Oh to be a fly on that wall. I hope you get some feed back from Ty and share it with he rest of us

Michelle said...

NOOOOOOO. You see it's times like these when I think "HOLY COW the people who taught us these things are just as clueless as we are" NOT THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS CLUELESS!!!! It's just that all these "adult" jobs are being done by people my age and I, in no way, am mature enough to teach maturation. Growing up is just odd.