Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Today I took the kids to the ice cream shop. We sat down with our peach sorbet, black licorice, and grasshopper cones, because it was suddenly too windy to go to the park like we had planned.

People came and went.

Teenagers mostly.

There is little else in the world as enjoyable to me as people-watching, and so I was having a pleasant afternoon.

And then.

A lady came in with her two young children. She was wearing scrubs and one of those children on her hip.

My attention was drawn by what I thought at first glance was a pair of very brightly-colored, jungle tree-patterned underwear sticking out above her light blue pants.

As her pants continued their downward slide, I became increasingly unable to take my eyes off the swirling pattern of her unmentionables, and found myself feeling glad for her that if her pants didn't fit properly, at least she was wearing full-coverage, very pretty underthings.


I noticed a distinct (yet amazingly colorful) delineating vertical line between the two sides of her lower back.

And her pants kept heading south.

For the remaining five minutes it took her to decide on a flavor, I was privy to at least 4 inches of this woman's intricately tattooed behind.

I was appalled and transfixed. Horrified and intrigued. I would look away quickly, only to find my eyes steadily creeping back in her direction of their own accord.

I was the tiniest bit jealous of all the laundry she probably gets out of doing by having permanent underwear, but mostly I thought,

"I should keep an extra pair of coveralls in my car."

For just such an occasion.


Sharlee said...

Wow. Ewww. Wow.

I liked the part when your eyes were creeping "on their own accord." That's when you know you're a hopeless people watcher.

Emily said...

The way you write makes me laugh out loud almost every single post. Love it.

Michelle said...

Classy. If she wanted people to see her tatoo why not put it where we can see it without her needing two hair cuts.

(Did I say that outloud?)

Christy said...

Hilarious. Always great for a laugh...which I needed this morning. Thanks!