Wednesday, May 2, 2012


*WARNING: I am about to go against all that I believe and talk about a children's movie. It might signify a new low.

Last night I made two observations.

#1. Of all Disney characters, I think that I most closely identify with Maleficent.

The woman is misunderstood.

Yes, she's a tad evil. But if you were surrounded by the fools, idiots, and imbeciles of that kingdom, tell the truth: you'd be tempted to be a little rebellious and naughty. You'd do anything to add some flavor to the vanilla of that life.

I would. I would go to great lengths to get as far away from the meaningless hustle and bustle of peasantry as I could. Which would lead me straight to The Forbidden Mountains. Where I wouldn't be hassled by the rabble. Where I wouldn't be expected to make small talk with simpering Royals. Where I would be free to wear dramatic purple eye shadow, outlandish hair pieces, and a cape. Where I would command my loyal fellow outcasts to obey my every whim, and then be completely disgusted with their inferior intelligence.

The woman is genius. She is graceful and striking. Unflinching and decisive. Sarcastic and strong.

And she makes no excuses. Nor does she take any crap.

(and her scepter makes that resonant clash when she slams it against the ground)

And sometimes, when I'm feeling just a little exhausted by all the stupidity in the world, I think she might have had it all figured out.

(Until she calls herself the Mistress of All Evil and turns into a dragon. She loses my sympathies there. Plus, Prince Phillip is a peach, and I can't help but root for him. Even if it means he marries that insipid Princess Aurora)

#2. I can recite every word, sound, and musical note in Sleeping Beauty with disturbing precision, but I can't for the life of me remember the date and time of the dentist appointment I made for my own children just four hours earlier. My brain only acknowledges useless information.

And now your Useless Knowledge Quota has been filled for today.

*For 10 bonus points (that's half your Useless Knowledge Quota for tomorrow, in case you couldn't do the math): guess the magnificent Maleficent line I quote after an extra tiring week, as I send Ty out to find us a movie.


Sharlee said...

"Now go with a curse and serve me well."
Did I win?
I love reading your blog.

Sharlee said...

No. I was wrong. This is my final answer:
"My pet... you are my last hope. Circle far and wide... "
and I think it's nicer than my first answer.

Emily said...

"Go! & do not fail me."

(Is there a "my pet" in there?)

Ditto Sharlee.

Emily said...

I meant ditto Sharlee's first post - I love reading your blog.

Malificent is also cool because she says "Lo" a lot. I think I would feel more powerful if I started throwing around "lo" & "my pet."

Anonymous said...

I totally stink because the whole time I am reading I am trying to figure out who Maleficent is and what movie she is in. So, I will most certainly not know the answer. But if I had to guess I would say . . ."To infinity and beyond!" Oh wait, wrong movie.