Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Because I Need a Tiny Break From Worrying Over The Election

Dear Editor of The School Parking Lot,

I am writing to request a Proper Pick-Up Procedure Exemption Pass. I have been waiting patiently for mine to arrive in the mail, but have not yet received it.

At first I was troubled, and even annoyed by the seeming utter lack of consideration and blatant disregard for rules that almost all of the other parents show at the end of each school day. It baffled me that these otherwise kind and law-abiding citizens could have such an obvious loss of brain function, come 3:20 p.m. In fact, I considered doing a scientific study to determine how it is possible for every single person to be the exception to a rule.

Then it occurred to me that your office must have issued P.P.P.E.P.'s at the beginning of the year, as an incentive for adults to really get out there and be as clueless as possible. Suddenly it all made sense. It didn't assuage my rage, but it kept my acquisition-of-a-stun-gun instinct in check.

I know that the absence of my P.P.P.E.P. was simply some random oversight, or perhaps even a mistake on the part of the USPS. It has got to be hard to deliver those passes when they are invisible! No, I do not bear anyone ill will. I only ask that a new one be issued in my name and sent post haste.

I Look forward to many thoughtless lane changes, vacating my car in the pick-up line, picking up kids in the exit lane, exiting the entrance, and basic reckless abandon!

Truly (and ready to give several vehicles a not-so-gentle nudge) Yours,



Anonymous said...

FUNNY! You would think that they would follow the rules given there are CHILDREN in the area. Yes, I also think every person thinks they are the exception to the rule. Clearly they do not understand that I, and I alone, am the only exception to every rule.

Christy said...

So funny!! Sounds like a mess at that school. My kid rides the bus home, which has been great! Love your writing Andrea. I don't get on blogger much anymore, trying to get back into it! It's tough you know, when not very many people post anymore. :( Glad you are still posting.

Darcee Johnson said...

When the school traffic gets you uptight, go home and drink postum!! And don't stress about running out. I just got home from Winco and as I walked down the coffee isle and sniffed in the aroma I thought 'I'll just check. Maybe postum is back in business.' It's not. But Pero is!! I'm enjoying a mug now. It's been a lot of years for me, so I don't know if it's exact, but it's bringing me memories!!