Tuesday, June 11, 2013

That's What Makes Me Beautiful

I heard a clever pick-up line today.

Which is very unusual for me. You know, since I usually just attract serial killer-types.

I was sampling some chips and artichoke dip at Costco.

Wait, wait, wait. Back-up.

When I exited my car in the Costco parking lot, I was suddenly aware that I had forgotten to put on my wedding ring. I usually put it on every day when I get ready, but this morning I didn't get ready. I was about half a step above pajama attire, no make-up, a ponytail fail that was only managing to keep about four strands of hair out of my face, and no ring.

Anyway, back to those chips and dip. Mmmm...they were delicious.

The sample distributor struck up a lively conversation with me.

I assumed he was bored.

He was extremely helpful. Extremely.

At one point he left his post to look at my hummus.

And that's no euphemism.

I was entertained. I would say 'enchanted,' but that denotes a romantic-esque affection, which is not what I felt, so I'll just say I felt happily entertained by his jolly and friendly demeanor.

Then, as he animatedly answered my rhetorical question about whether or not the hummus I chose was going to be too spicy:

"You know, it really depends. It would depend on how spicy you like your hummus, if you.....blah, blah...

And then he seamlessly inserted:

...whether or not you're married...or have a significant other..."

It made me laugh. So hard.

And I just walked away. Laughing.

I didn't know what else to do.

I mean, besides call Ty and tell him that he'd better step up his game, cause apparently I'm the next big thing.

He didn't seem at all concerned, though he did point out that Sample Simon could probably provide me with a lifetime of free samples, the likes of which I'd never known...

except for every time I go to Costco.


I guess Ty's safe, after all.

The lucky dog.

**Explanation of Title: Obviously, my so not being beautiful is what makes me beautiful. For some reason I am getting a HUGE kick out of that little thought right now. Also, that stupid song has been stuck in my mind's craw for weeks. It feels a little like revenge to twist it for a post title. Take THAT, One Direction! Ha!