Saturday, June 7, 2014

Because Current Life Situations Aren't Enough to Kill Me, I've Decided to Put Myself Through This Nightmare Again

A house that took me 16 hours to clean should take home-buyers longer than 15 minutes to look through.

I'd be willing to sign a petition stating as much.

Or lock them in and force them to notice every detail until they make my swollen, aching feet feel justified.

I've drafted a letter to be posted on my front door for next time:

Dear House Looker,

Oh, you think you've seen all you need to see? Bull crap. Now get down on your hands and knees and really appreciate those clean floors! Don't even take them for granted. Most days they are sticky. And there are usually stray pieces of popcorn under the stove.

See that garage? It didn't vacuum itself, unless that's what will make you want to buy this house, in which case, it did.

What's that? You just peeked into the storage room without so much as a moment of silence to remember the hours lost in its organization? For shame!

In 15 minutes, there's no WAY you could possibly understand the amount of blood, sweat, tears, and yelling that went into getting all children's rooms clean, straight, and vacuumed ON THE SAME DAY.

Yeah. As in simultaneously clean. Those are not words I string together casually. Or ever. So you'd better recognize.

I really do deserve some sort of medal. Or trophy. Or vacation.

At the very least, you could buy my freaking house.



Sick of Cleaning This House for Nothin'


Kimi Lou said...

SO glad I'm not selling MY house! ;) You're so dang funny, Drea! I love it! Thanks for brightening my day!